And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
