Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
