I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize