She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
