Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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