does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
