Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
