He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
