dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
