I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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