Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
