put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
