Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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