Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I AM VODKA MAN
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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