She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
