so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Randomize
