hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
