They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
