I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
