are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
