After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
