May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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