well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
