Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
