She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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