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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
