remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
