Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
