my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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