no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
