I just pynch a tree in the face
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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