Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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