After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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