Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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