so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
