I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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