i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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