she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
