The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
