you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
