My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you traded sex for a burrito?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
