I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
