Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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