do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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