also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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