so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My vagina is officially offended.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
