yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
