She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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