Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
