Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
