I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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