i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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