I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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