I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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