We're like a lot better than the average bears
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
