wat bout pragnant strippers??
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
