he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
