This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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