Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
